Early on I really struggled with a concept of a Higher Power. Not having a religious background, I came in as a total spiritual novice. Nothing felt familiar. I had thrown up some foxhole prayers to something in my darkest days but never felt I got a response.
I just couldn’t do the traditional God relationship thing. Thank goodness for “as we understand God”.
But I did realize early on that I needed something outside myself to help me recover. At first it was my sponsor and the group. But they weren’t always available and they are human.
Eventually I developed a concept of a personal Higher Power. She is my Higher Power. I have no idea what else she is concerned about, if anything. When I ask, she infuses me with willingness, strength and the ability to do the next right thing, abstain and be useful. My life is wonderful with her help.
I have to leave it there. It’s ok that I don’t know all the answers or specifics. She and the fellowship help me stay sane and abstinent and I say thank you every single day.
Anonymous