On May 9, 2020, terrified by the pandemic and seeing the news say repeatedly that obesity was a comorbidity contributing to deaths from COVID-19, I was frightened into action. I was in the midst of a relapse when the pandemic hit, and it exacerbated my fears and disease, allowing me to gain 10 pounds in six short weeks as I ate and consoled myself with comfort foods. On the evening of May 8, I said to myself “this is my bottom”, just 14 pounds shy of my heaviest weight, and I made a promise to myself and to my Higher Power (HP) to begin my recovery from compulsive overeating.
I began attending an OA men’s meeting and my local OA meetings. I got a sponsor and worked the Twelve Steps with his loving guidance. I developed my plan of eating and stayed away from my corralled foods that I placed in the food corral. I prayed each day to my HP for the willingness. I made a second Step 4 inventory. I prayed for the willingness again and I made amends. I began a Step 10 nightly inventory that I practice almost every night. I became a sponsor and started doing service.
What have I found in recovery? My serenity. My biggest character defects were anger and impatience. HP has replaced those with serenity. I prayed for my resentments to be lifted from me and they were. I prayed for the willingness to work the Steps and follow my plan of eating and I found and have maintained my abstinence. Through OA I have found the loving support of my local OA family and my Tuesday Men’s meeting OA family, who share my disease and understand me in a way most others never will. I have found a new home where I can be myself.
What have I lost in recovery? I have lost 64 pounds since May. I have lost the desire to even want to taste the foods that tempted me and led me to eat compulsively. I have lost the resentments that held me in the past so that I can focus on today. I have lost my fears and angst, as I now practice daily turning those over to HP. I have lost my low self-esteem, my shame and guilt, all lifted from me by HP.
What have I found in recovery? That the slogan we hear “Keep coming back, it works if you work it and you’re worth it, so work it!” is truth. Thanks to my HP and to the fellowship of OA.
— Peter N.