NEW!
Click the link below to check out the March Edition of the CSSI Bulletin from the Chicago area in IL.
Category: Uncategorized
Click the link below to check out the January Edition of OA Today from the St. Louis Bi-State Intergroup of OA.
Categories
Surrender
Before OA I didn’t take each day seriously. I sat back and let things happen. I would watch TV and eat my food for one. To relax, I would sit back and fantasize about what a great job I was doing or how competent I was. Now I know my past and acknowledge this defect with my food. I do the footwork. I weigh and measure my food. I don’t have a regular scale, but keep using my food scale religiously. I stay with my food plan one meal at a time and surrender the results. I weigh at the doctor’s office and make the necessary adjustments. My weight varies little.
Instead of sitting back and fantasizing, I do what life puts in front of me to do. I mow the lawn, shovel the snow, and clean my house as best I can. I work during the day. I accept my supply orders and act on them as quickly as possible. I make art. Where as before I would fantasize about how good I was, now I work every day. I am 14 years abstinent and have accumulated a good body of work. I no longer have to think about how good of an artist I am, but can see the results. Other artist say they like my work and I am starting to get recognition for it. I have even started to sell some work. It all comes down to taking the Steps, one day at a time.
– Kevin F.
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OA SERVICE
I recently attended the Region 5 Fall Assembly representing my local Chicago area intergroup. Region 5 encompasses the states of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, Kentucky, North Dakota, Iowa, Missouri, and Minnesota. I was so impressed by the dedication and commitment of the other attending representatives there, and all the time and energy they are putting into spreading the message of recovery from compulsive eating in their areas. These delegates and myself have come to know the benefits of service. I was told early on in my recovery that “We can’t keep our recovery unless we give it away.” I did not understand this for a long time. But now I do, because I have given service in many ways over my 49 years in OA.
Service has gotten me out of myself. Anytime I serve in ways large or small, I receive. Like when I serve as a sponsor, for example, I speak recovery to my sponsee, but I am saying what I need to hear too. Or when I serve as a speaker at a meeting or a convention or retreat, I see heads nodding from the audience, reminding me that I am not alone on this recovery path. And when I talk to a newcomer who is searching for some relief from the pain of food bondage, and see the hope on their face when they hear that they can be set free, I am reminded that recovery is still there for me too. It really is a “win-win” program.
Service is one of our tools that we can use to strengthen and maintain our own recovery. We first need to receive recovery from others when we are new to the program, so we can begin to heal. Then after we feel stronger and have some abstinence, we can serve. There are so many ways to do this: setting up chairs for a meeting; making and receiving calls or texts; being a greeter or serving in other meeting positions; and then moving on up to intergroup, region, and World Service levels to serve as reps, chairs, and trustees.
Remember that service produces growth and strengthens recovery. And this is also a WE program. We do not have to figure out how to do any service by ourselves. There are always others who are willing to help us. So give it a try!
Gratefully submitted.
– Evelyn S.
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Service Is It’s Own Reward
I was first introduced to service by an old sponsor when he asked me to tag along as we went to my first Region 7 assembly in North Plainfield, NJ. This was 1989, I had been in the program only about a year and a half, and had only done some minor service work on the group level. I can remember that on the ride back home, I sat in the back of my sponsor’s car, and felt like eating the whole way back! I was exposed to conflicting personalities, and heated discussions; I was not used to this atmosphere at an OA event; I was used to the “warm fuzzies” of my regular Tuesday night meeting. I vowed never to come back! But of course I did come back, and I learned how “the business of OA” gets done. And without the service work done by regular OA members, who come together to address the needs of our fellowship, so much of what we take for granted wouldn’t exist. The books, the pamphlets, the websites, the podcasts and videos, none of that would exist without our members coming together to perform the service needed to help the still-suffering compulsive overeater who wouldn’t even know we exist. If Rozanne S, Bernise K, and the other original members of OA hadn’t done the work they did back at the time of our fellowship’s founding, OA could have simply been a little support group that never made it out of California! Most of you know our program is patterned after Alcoholics Anonymous, but what if Bill W. and Dr. Bob had kept the program top themselves? AA would have never been founded, NA would have never been founded, and GA (Gambler’s Anonymous) would have never been founded. And if you’ve read “Beyond Our Wildest Dreams” by Rozanne S, you will know that it was while attending a GA meeting in support of a friend with a gambling addiction that Rozanne got the idea to start a program for those with compulsive overeating! Everytime I read from the 12 steps and 12 traditions of OA, I’m reminded of the fact that I was fortunate enough to have been at the OA Business conference in 1993, in Los Angeles (the last conference held inLos Angeles before OA moved to New Mexico!) when the 12 steps and traditions were combined as one book! I will never forget the huge crowd of delegates that stood up and cheered when the motion to combine the steps and traditions were passed, and the book was sent to be printed. I was blessed to have been on the literature committee (as a green dot!), when we debated passages for the book. That service that I gave 31 years ago, still gives me rewards to this day, and will likely for my lifetime. Performing service is a pleasure, performing service is essential, performing service works to keep me committed to this program that has saved my life on at least two occasions. If you feel your program is not what you would like it to be, get involved in service. Whether at the group level, intergroup, region or world service; our fellowship needs you.
– Ed L.
NEW ARTICLE!
When I got ready to do my step 8 list, of those to whom I needed to make amends, my sponsor said I should put myself on my amends list. I had done previous 8th steps, so I knew this was an important step to making amends with others. I need to forgive myself and others before I am able to make amends. This ensures that, through forgiveness, resentments don’t rise up and cause the amends to be ineffective.
When I got to me, I realized I had not forgiven myself for several things I did as a child, as well as some I had done in my marriage and as a parent. What should I do? I did not WANT to forgive myself. Why not? When it came down to it, I didn’t feel I deserved to be forgiven. If I didn’t forgive myself I could keep punishing myself, in theory, until I felt I deserved a pardon. Not forgiving myself kept me from pursuing deeper relationships with my HP, whom I call God, and with people.
So, if I couldn’t forgive myself, and was “stuck” in Step 8 until I did so, what could I do in the meantime, while I waited to forgive myself? I decided to ask others how they forgave themselves, if they needed to. I asked my sponsor, a couple of “mentors” I appreciate in program, and one night I was chairing a meeting and chose the topic, which of course, had to be self-forgiveness! I also wrote about it, prayed about it, and even made an appointment with my pastor to talk about it! And all the while, while I waited to forgive myself, I did my program. I went to meetings, met with my sponsor, sponsored, made phone calls and texted fellows. I also did a 4th step to work on “searching moral inventory” of why I wasn’t forgiving myself. This is a character defect to not forgive myself, and working through a detailed inventory helped me find the root of my problem. I was then prepared to do a proper 9th step on myself. I wrote, prayed, and waited. One thing both my sponsor and my pastor suggested was to “act as if.”
My pastor said I would always remember those things I did wrong, but I could choose to “act as if” I had forgiven myself until my feelings caught up, after I said the words, “I forgive you” to myself. So, I plunged into forgiveness. I said the words, “I forgive you,” and declared to myself that if the thought that I am not forgiven for those actions and words come up, I would remind myself that I am forgiven, because I chose to do it. Faith, fact, feeling, in that order, is what I learned somewhere. It works for me. I am forgiven. I don’t have to bash myself anymore. I don’t even have to “feel” forgiven. My side of the street is clean towards me, and I can now “move quickly forward” to the amends step, step 9!
Categories
The Practice of 2-way Prayer
I have recently been introduced to the practice of 2-way prayer. For those who are unfamiliar, this is a practice in which one writes out a question to Higher Power, meditates for a short time, like 5 minutes, and then writes whatever comes through. These are usually messages from our Higher Power, coming through us onto the paper.
During my first try at 2-way prayer session I was having issues of food insecurity. I was wanting to eat because I was unsure what food would be available at upcoming events. Or my husband and I were not agreeing on what to have for dinner the next day or whether to even eat in or go out. Or any number of things that are a part of Life that were making me feel insecure about my food. So I asked the question, ” What should I know about my issues with food insecurity?” The answer…
“Surrender is being comfortable not knowing;
Surrender is acceptance of that which is, without knowing the how or the why;
Surrender defies analysis;
Surrender means turning it all over and not worrying how you got here or where you’re headed – just trust that it will be resolved.
I’m here to help, but you need to want it enough to let go. You have to stop holding onto the fear as if it is somehow helpful.
You have to be brave enough to let go of fear and live your life.
Live your life. Stop waiting for others.
Take responsibility for your own happiness and just do it. Do the things.
Others will follow.
Feel free to lead.
You have control of what is available to you. There is plenty… You are surrounded by abundance. Just let the fear go.
Set it down and walk away. It no longer serves you and you no longer need it.”
What a gift! My Higher Power gave me a beautiful definition of what it means to Surrender. Spirit made clear that clinging to fear was not helpful to me – I need to let it go.
I have received many more gifts from HP in my 2-way prayer practice. It’s a practice that I highly recommend. For those who would like to learn more about this technique you can Google 2-way prayer or check the OA website for Zoom meetings that use 2-way prayer as the format. I find these meetings very helpful because often I will hear a message from my HP through what somebody else’s HP has told them.
– Melanie B
Categories
Making My Case
My case against french fries: potatoes, of themselves, are a fine food. However, if they are deep fried, eating them can affect my health, my weight, lay the groundwork for future conditions that could really jeopardize my health. As a matter of fact, eating anything that is deep-fried is not good for me, not just eating french fries. It is like french fries are a wolf in sheep‘s clothing; they look so attractive and harmless. I can tell myself, “I can share an order “but really, it’s an excuse to eat them. There they are – gilded with crunch and salt, piping hot. And really what they are is a steppingstone to diabetes and high blood pressure.
It is also easy to dismiss them as harmless – if I only eat them at a restaurant. The fact that they are considered “treats “is a red flag that in fact they are not. I am saying no to french fries and will mourn them and get on with my life.
– Pat H.
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My Thoughts on Step 9 Promises
I recently attended an OA workshop in my area, and the format had a writing exercise on the Step 9 promises from the AA Big Book on pages 83-84. The workshop leader asked an attendee to read these promises aloud to the group, then asked everyone in the room to really listen to the words of the reading. After the reading, he invited us to write on the words or phrases that spoke to us about the promises.
What jumped out to me in the reading were 2 sections – “We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.” The second is “God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
These are coming through in my life, especially more so lately. I seem to be able to discern what to do and say in certain situations that arise in my life with family members or friends. I do not try to jump in and “fix” so quickly like I used to. That is where the second quote comes in. I remember to “Let go and let God,” knowing that my HP (God) will help me deal with whatever I need help with. These are some of the many messages that our OA 12-Step program has taught me. I get everything I need to live a good life without falling into the compulsion of using food to cope with “situations that used to baffle” me. This is why I am still in OA after almost 50 years. I will always have “situations that used to baffle” me, as long as I am on this earth. I am never finished growing and learning. And I am grateful that I was given this wonderful, life-giving program to follow.
Thank you God, and thank you OA!
– Evelyn S.
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Surrender to HP
“When all is said and done, all we can do is surrender to God and accept the situation. Any other route will keep us in bondage. God wants me to experience freedom, so I surrender.”
– Anonymous