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Carrying the Message

NEW ARTICLE!

“Tradition 5:  Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the compulsive overeater who still suffers.”

Since February of 2020, tradition five seems like a message that has been hard to carry.  Many of us have survived and were grateful for the strength we found in our HP and working the steps.  However, we have witnessed many losses in our fellowship.  Our local meeting list have been slashed in ½ and very few have made the transition back to F2F. If we did not go permanently virtual, our meeting attendance has dropped however if we did go permanently virtual, we welcomed people from all over the world and if we were lucky, they returned for more than just that one meeting.  I have sponsored people who have shown me the miracle of recovery and I’ve never met them!  

Before I physically entered my first OA meeting, I tried to join by logging into a virtual chat OA meeting – no video, no phone just a chat room!  I believe I was eating ice cream at the time. I didn’t chat, just kept watching.  I would return to the website again and again to stare at the 12 steps hoping that by reading them I would be able to stop eating.  Trying to avoid connection with other humans, I kept at this insanity for a few more years until 2007.  In April of that year, I was so desperate I went to a local meeting here in Cincinnati.  People saw me for the first time.  I witnessed other real compulsive overeaters.  I could not hide behind my computer screen.  They even tried to hug me – which I tried very hard to avoid for many weeks.

I am selfishly grateful for the zoom OA meetings…I’ve gone all over the world to attend meetings.  I also met people in person for walks and after being vaccinated, I began to visit with fellows I hadn’t seen in a year.  Tradition 5 asks us to carry the message, and sometimes the message doesn’t get thru our virtual path.  Most of you know that many of our fellows are hiding behind that “photo” of themselves…they don’t want to be seen.  Virtual meetings provide a way to connect to OA but also a way to stay more in denial and placate ourselves with feel good meetings with other people who share our disease.  

I, as a newcomer, would be eating behind that screen or barely awake from a food coma.  For those of us abstinent and recovered, don’t forget that F2F meetings is where we got recovery.  We were finally able to be seen and had nowhere to hide.  It’s our duty to help get some of our meetings back to in-person.  Perhaps we keep virtual meetings, but we need more options for those  still suffering.  Yes, after 18 months, it does seem inconvenient to drive across town to attend a meeting.  Yes, it seems like a lot of work to find a new location for our meeting, so why not take the easy route and stay virtual?  

This is why not – according to Dr. Bob:
1. Sense of duty.
2. It is a pleasure.
3. Because in so doing I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me.
4. Because every time I do it, I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip.

Responsibility pledge:  Always to extend the hand and heart of OA to all who share my compulsion; for this I am responsible.

Yes, this is a go team- go blog post.  When you feel it’s safe, grab another member and say, “let’s start a meeting”.

 — Rachael W.

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Before and After OA

Before OA:

Confused

Alienated

Resentful

Offended

Lonely

After OA:

Compassionate

Amazed

Recovering

Optimistic

Loving

— Carol D.

 
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Article 6 – New Intergroup Series

Have you had a time where you were lost in program?  How did you find your way?

I’m lost right now.  I have been in OA 14 months.  This is my 1st in-person meeting.  I have struggled, done well, then not so well.  I have not gained – just binge, then do my food plan – then binge.

What frustrates me is that I “know” what to do – been AA 35 years, 8 years clean!  

I want this program – one day at a time – but have not been willing to give up sugar.  I want to want to.

— Anonymous

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Article 5 – New Intergroup Series

Have you had a time where you were lost in program?  How did you find your way?

I’m only in program 2-1/2 months.  I started on the OA.org website and listened and read EVERYTHING on the site.  Within 3 weeks I felt lost and stuck and knew I’d need to take the 1 hour drive weekly to get to a face-to-face meeting to REALLY make this work over the long run.  Then, once in the meet it took three weeks to get past my next lost & stuck spot:  I would need a sponsor.  I make the meeting in person and have a sponsor and I don’t feel lost anymore.  I feel I’m home, just the way I am greeted at the meetings.

— Anonymous

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Article 4 – New Intergroup Series

Have you had a time where you were lost in program?  How did you find your way?

First year and a half, I knew I was in the right place but could not “figure out” the solution.  So I kept coming back hearing my story.  Not abstinent, in my disease, I had to admit desperation, powerlessness and reach out for help.  Recovery arrived in the form of a food plan and abstinence, a sponsor to guide me and working the 12 Steps to the best of my ability.  My joy in recovery – first and foremost – is a relationship and trust in a Higher Power. My joy is I am one among many in a program of people interested in helping – themselves and each other.  I love watching loneliness vanish, seeing my fellowship grow up around me.

— Susan H

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Article 3 – New Intergroup Series

Have you had a time where you were lost in program?  How did you find your way?

It seems so basic, but when I felt lost I was going to meetings, using the tools and doing the steps.  I don’t think I was in relapse but I felt far from God and alone.  I was calling people occasionally but it was that lost feeling that troubled me.

Then I realized that I don’t have to feel God to know His presence.  He is with me, there waiting for me to do His will whether I feel like it or not.  We give our life and will to our Higher Power and do what He asks us to do whether we feel close to him or not.

— Yvonne C

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Article 2 – New Intergroup Series

Have you had a time where you were lost in program?  How did you find your way?

When I started program, I had committed to stick with it since it was the only thing that had ever worked. I’ve lost over 100 pounds and have kept if off for 12 years.  It’s the last stop for me.
— KB

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Article 1 – New Intergroup Series

Have you had a time where you were lost in program? How did you find your way?

I’ve been in major relapse twice in the 21 years I’ve been in program.  I have never left program but the way back was always program and MORE program. I would commit to 90 meetings in 90 days, wrote every day, make 3 phone calls a day, commit my food to a sponsor daily and weighed and measured my food – and prayed.

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Only I see my recovery by looking at my wrist.

My recovery is visible in many ways. I have lost 100 pounds and gone from a Size 20 to a Size 10.  People say I look younger, but I don’t think that’s just about my appearance; they see that I am more active, agile, and confident.  My doctor can surely see my recovery.  My weight loss and increased activity have lowered my blood pressure and blood sugar, and I have been able to eliminate prescription drugs for those conditions.  My family is grateful for my recovery because I now participate in physical activities without fear, dread, or embarrassment.  But nobody but me knows about some very special evidence of my recovery.

My mom died eight years ago.  I inherited all of her jewelry.  Some of the pieces were valuable, but all were precious to me, especially ones she bought while traveling.  She was partial to turquoise jewelry made by Native Americans.  I loved her silver and turquoise bracelet that had a very unusual design.  

It was too small for my large wrist.  I am just big boned, I said to myself.  I tried to wear it several times, but the magnetic clasp gave way as soon as I flexed my wrist.  I lost it once for weeks until I found it under my car mat.  Another time, a neighbor found it on the ground in our parking lot.  I finally decided it was just too precious for me to take a chance losing it again, so I put it in my jewelry box.A couple years into the program, while I was maintaining my weight loss, I came across the bracelet and I tried it on.  I was amazed when it fit!  I wear it all the time now.  It is a precious reminder of my mother and my recovery.  Mom had always worried about my health, and she would have been so happy to see the new me.

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A Poem of Gratitude for the Miracles

I wrote a poem of gratitude for the miracles that I have received for persistently “coming back” these last 38 years in OA:

The Past is littered with resentments.
Fear haunts the Future.
The Present is a Gift, safe and joyful!
The Road to Humility is paved with Surrender mixed with Acceptance.
The Destination is Sacred Awe.

— Beverly B.