When I read the topic for our newsletter this month, I automatically thought of page 55 in the Big Book. In the chapter We Agnostics it explains that God (my Higher Power) was always there, but He was blocked by three specific things. The Big Book says, “…for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there.” If we look at these three things individually, we can see how the inventory process helps us become unblocked.
The first is calamity or bad things that have happened to us. I know for myself, growing up in an abusive home, there were many harms done to me. I was able to put all of the resentments down on paper and heal from it by continuing to work the 12 Steps on a daily basis.
Then there is pomp, my ego, or my self-importance. By working through the last column of the resentment worksheet, I am able to find my part in anything that’s disturbing me. It’s really a gentle way to level my pride and remember that I will never be more than a flawed human being, just like everyone else on this earth.
Lastly, there’s worship of other things. This one can be very sneaky. I like to think I don’t worship other things, but I do. I’m worshipping other things any time I’m putting something before God. Sometimes it’s as simple as my time, money, or activities. I like to believe that I get to decide what or how to spend these currencies. The truth is that none of it is mine. It’s only on loan and I need to worship the Giver, not the gift. These, I find, usually come out in the fear part of the inventory. I’m afraid I won’t have enough time, or enough money, or afraid I won’t be able to do what I want to do, and I’m gently reminded that self-reliance doesn’t work. I must surrender all to Him.
Therefore, after finding our Higher Power, may we all remain unblocked from our Loving Creator by continuing the inventory process on a daily basis. And as my sticky note next to my prayer chair says, “There is God, and the rest is just clutter.”
— Jodi C.