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To New Members

I was once where you are. Emotionally spent. I had been struggling alone with food and weight since puberty. Then I bumped into the Twelve Steps. It was in Overeaters Anonymous that I learned I had an incurable disease, not of my own doing, and there was a spiritual solution. 

My mind received messages about food that other people never heard. They didn’t have food battles to fight. My body responded differently to food than other people, like an allergy. Over time, because the disease is progressive, I became addicted to food as an alcoholic becomes addicted to alcohol. I didn’t understand how Let Go Let God worked, but the serenity in the meeting room and prayer to begin and end the meeting instilled hope. 

Here was an answer to prayer, and I was ready for action. Write down feelings. Stay off the scale. Quit micro-managing the food, just do moderate amounts and sit down at the table. Pick up the phone. Work the Steps. Make four columns. Make a list of harms done and ask for forgiveness. Learn to meditate. All along the way, I was helping others as I helped myself. 

Amazing God (my HP)! A “simple kit of spiritual tools” solved the problem. I was protected from myself, a position of neutrality with food. I was not cured, but in a remission of symptoms of a disease that had been eroding the fabric of my life. 

What did I learn? God (my HP) loves me and will help me with any concern if I let him, especially the small stuff I think I should be able to handle myself. I do not have to do everything for everybody (Type E woman). I added NO to my vocabulary. You gain weight the same way you lose weight: adopt a sensible plan of eating and stick with it. Self-care is not selfish. Virtue is in the middle-balance and moderation in all things. 

In summary, my relationship with God (my HP) is paramount. Steps Three and Step Eleven are the glue of Twelve Step living. Open your heart and hands; you are no longer alone.

— N.J., Illinois

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Thank You HP for Zoom/Phone Meetings

Our Intergroup had two members step-up and set-up Zoom/phone meetings at the beginning of 2020, in order to be prepared for bad roads and winter storms. We had used Facetime while we were still doing face-to-face meetings, but this was subject to daily internet connectivity. Little did we know that Zoom would be our “lifeline” during Covid.

Our first Zoom meeting was held on March 16, 2020, the first Monday after the 2020 Region 5 Spring Assembly. We’ve been using Zoom meetings ever since that date.

We are able to have our snowbirds connect with our local meetings all the way from Arizona, Florida, and Texas. We’ve made contact with some Region 4 members too (a member used to be a regular attendee at our face-to-face meetings before the family moved away). We also have a person connecting from a city that does not have OA meetings.

Thank you HP for making this possible.

— Shirley L.

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The Gift of Covid-19

Yeah, we all received that gift this year. No hugs good-bye or hello to family or friends. Instead, we Zoom and send posts in Instagram. We have memories of those gone and still hear their voices. The presence of each of us is so, so important.

To creativity: cooking a new recipe; learning to Zoom, to knit, to write, or to draw; singing songs; or sending new videos to help inspire others and to share hope.

This too will pass. We will get the vaccines distributed as quickly as possible. We will gather in groups. We will celebrate weddings and new lives. We will hug and kiss (the newborns and newlyweds will be especially sweet).

Yes, you are each missed. You are all REALLY missed! We look forward to gathering again and to giving hugs and sharing stories. The gift of Covid-19 is we realize how important each one of you are.

Amid the wish I could, let us hang on to the yes, I did.

— Lynn H.

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Being an OAer during the Holidays

The holidays are hard for all us OAers, I feel.  Our family and friends all associate this time with different foods and events held around food.  A lot of that food involves flour and sugar, substances a lot of us OAers struggle with.

New Year’s Day is something I remember well.  I don’t remember how many times my resolution had to do with my addiction, back when I didn’t even know it was an addiction.  Every year, I resolved to lose X amount of weight, run X distance, lift X weight, follow X program, do X diet, etc.  Unfortunately for me, these goals were all driven from my weight and a desire to eat a lot without gaining weight.  There’s nothing wrong with being a runner or weightlifter, but that wasn’t why I wanted to be those things.  I wanted to be able to run or lift so I could go home and gorge on what I wanted without consequence.  Why yes, I will run 5 miles a day if that means I can eat an entire X thing, thank you very much (and for me, my legs aren’t built to handle this, so running was a painful and abusive practice when I reached or surpassed 15 miles a week).

In fact, this was a dream of mine.  My favorite pre-program dreams, aside from ones where I was flying or breathing underwater, were food dreams.  I would have wild dreams about binge eating without ever gaining weight.  When I pictured heaven, it was a place with all my favorite foods and other vices, a place where I could enjoy them without dealing with the after effects and without judgement.

Nearly every year, I disappointed myself.  Some years it was that I didn’t do things consistently, so my weight simply didn’t change.  More often, I did things sporadically (or not at all) and gained weight.  I eventually stopped counting the holidays.  I started gaining weight from the holiday season, at first 10 pounds, then 20.  When it was 10, I would manage to lose the weight by the end of January with lots of exercise.  When it was 20, it bled into February.  The year I came to OA, I never lost the whole 20 I had gained.  

I remember my first New Year’s in OA.  I went to the gym because I was going 2-3 times a week to stay healthy.  It had nothing to do with obsessive exercise, and I did things my body could easily handle.  I had a hard time finding my usual machine, and the whole time I was mystified by the sheer number of people that were there.  It was usually busy when I went, but this was ridiculous.  I looked around, and it wasn’t even the one time  a month when they brought in free food.  On my way out, I pulled out my phone and saw the date, and that’s when it hit me.  These were the New Year’s Resolutioniers.  Then, I noticed that I was not there for a resolution at all.  It made me smile, and I felt grateful to be free of the obsessive nature of how exercise used to be for me.  It was also comforting to know that the numbers would dwindle each week until they returned to normal in February, at which point it would be easier to use the machines I wanted to use.

Now, I still make New Year’s Resolutions, but they are different.  My first New Year’s in OA, I decided I would write in cursive.  Now, I write beautifully, in my humble opinion.  My second New Year’s in OA, I set out to learn how to crochet.  I managed to make a hat for someone (though it was too small!), and I am nearly done with a blanket for my son, who is coming in February 2021.  I have a second blanket in the works for him, too, though it is for when he is older.  For New Year’s 2021, my resolution will be to have a manuscript of my first novel complete that I am proud of and that has a gripping plot (as it is currently 98,000 words of plotless details!).

I have taken the New Year’s Resolution game and made it not about food, exercise, or my body.  After all, that stuff is my HP’s business, not mine.  Instead, my resolutions are things that improve my life, are fun, or are fulfilling.  I was always self conscious about my handwriting, and now I don’t have to be.  I always wanted to learn to work with yarn, and now I can, at least in a limited fashion.  I have a very active imagination, and I have the first draft of a novel written, but I don’t know how to fix it and make it suck readers in.  I have started taking actions to become a better writer and learn more about the craft.

If you are one that makes New Year’s Resolutions, but you are new to program or don’t know what to do, I encourage you to try this.  Pick something fulfilling or fun, something achievable and quantifiable, and give it a go.  Resolutions are not just about weight loss, exercise, money, drinking less, etc.  Most importantly, choose something you won’t kick yourself for failing at or forgetting about.  Make it meaningful, but forgivable; important, but not essential.  Remember, failing isn’t a bad thing, but never trying for fear of failure is.

Some suggestions:

  • Learn a new art or craft
  • Photography / graphic design
  • Read more, or read a genre you usually don’t
  • Try writing a story / book / research paper / poem, etc.
  • Spend more time outside
  • Tend to a plant or garden
  • Spend more time with your pet, or go get one
  • Do some community service
  • Sign up for OA service, or start attending intergroup meetings
  • Start a ‘1 line a day’ journal or a gratitude journal
  • Learn an instrument, to sing, or to whistle
  • Listen to a music genre you usually don’t
  • Go to all the parks in your city that you’ve never been to before
  • Learn something new about technology

Happy New Year’s, my fellow OAers!  May your next year be abstinent and better than 2020 has been!

— Christina H.

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Short Descriptions for the Twelve Principles of the OA Steps

Step Principle 1 – Honesty
I believe in Love, Good, Beauty Truth (and all my highest values) as my Higher Power.  So, truth involves honesty.  This is what I will seek out every day.  Honesty in myself and in others and honesty in this world and universe, but with kindness wherever possible.  I always try to cause no harm.  If my being honest will hurt someone or something, I try to be as gentle as possible and decide if the truth needs to be told.  If withholding the truth is no big deal, I keep it to myself.  If withholding the truth will cause someone or something else harm, I always go for the truth.  That is how I decide if I should keep my mouth shut, or if something needs to be said or done.   Of most importance is that I am honest with myself and God (HP) and then with others.  I find this to be simple, but not easy.

Step Principle 2 – Hope
Hope – When I came to OA, I had lost all hope that I would ever get to a normal body weight, eat normally, and be happy again.  OA gave me hope and serenity right off the bat, when I met other people who had my same issues.  I had never before felt that connection from any of the diets I’d gone on, professionals I dealt with, or personal trainers I worked out with. One of the biggest gifts I received was the ability to practice gratitude.  When I’m feeling really sorry for myself, I count my blessings, digging really deep, and I soon feel better and find hope.  This works so well for me.  It gives me hope that good things lie ahead, and it is worth my while to “trudge forward.”

Step Principle 3 – Faith
Faith means believing in something when you don’t have all the facts or proof that it is true.  I had no faith when I came to OA that anything or anyone could help me.  I was certainly not enamored with my “birth” faith of Catholicism.   As I grew in serenity and acceptance of the program (to begin with) I began to have faith in an HP.  Today, I continue to develop a relationship with HP, using my basic highest values of Love, Good, Beauty and Truth.  I can even return to the Catholic Church with acceptance of a religion that is made up of humans.  I identify with the church’s concept of a “Holy Spirit.”  I pray and meditate almost every day and every night, if only for a few minutes, to remain in fit, spiritual health.

Step Principle 4 – Courage
Courage involves being totally honest about my failings, and then having hope and faith in a power greater than me to change them.  Some days fear can paralyze me in my steps. But I don’t pretend I’m not afraid to do things.  I know the difference is courage.  Doing it anyway, no matter the outcome, that is true courage for me.  When I’m afraid of being wrong, making a fool of myself, or losing someone else’s confidence in me, I can make the choice to back away, or I can do it anyway with faith, hope, honesty, and courage that HP will determine the outcome.  I will either be right and continue in that direction, or wrong and I can learn a lesson for the future.  

Step Principle 5 – Integrity
Integrity means living in accordance with my deepest values.  The previous 4 principles are good to no one if I don’t practice integrity.  I need to be honest with everyone and keep my word.  This is a highly valued trait for me.  My disease had caused me to lose integrity, especially in regard to what I was actually doing with my food, with my time, with my thoughts and feelings.  When I first came to OA, I felt peace.  It took a long time for that peace to result in enough honesty with myself and others to work the steps.  Now, I need to practice it daily, in everything I do; then I find I can breathe a sigh of relief and feel even more peace.  I practice the quality of integrity in my “Upon Awakening” meditation, my food journal, and my nightly inventory, as well as my daily 10th steps.

Step Principle 6 – Willingness
In the beginning, willingness is all I have.  For any new leap of faith, I need to be willing to jump.  I’ve heard many times that this is not a program for people who want it or need it.  It’s a program for people who do it.  I can study and cry and ask why, all day long.  But until I work the steps and practice the principles, I won’t achieve a thing.  And, without willingness, I just won’t even start.  Now that I have proved to myself that this program works, it is easier to practice willingness.  Still, as I wish to achieve more and more freedom, I must have even more willingness to push myself even further and do even more work to continue my progress.  

Step Principle 7 – Humility
I love this character trait. When I was in high school French class, we had a teacher that constantly reminded us to practice Humilite’. I love the sound of it and the meaning. Through OA I’ve learned that humility goes both ways – too much ego and too little ego. I’m just another joe-on-the-bus is the attitude I like to practice.  

Step Principle 8 – Self-Discipline
Self-Discipline is my ability to pursue what I think is right in spite of my feelings and weaknesses. I continue in the same vain despite temptations to abandon all and go back to what I know, what is comfortable. 

Step Principle 9 – Love
So, love is a highest value and the greatest representation of HP for me. Above all else, is love.  When I seek love, I am seeking HP. I ask myself, whenever I’m unsure of an action I’m going to take, “will this show love?” Or “will this make so and so feel loved?” Or “does this come from a place of love?”  I know many people cannot live with such an abstract concept of HP, but for me, this helps explain why there is also hate and other evils in our world. “Seek and ye shall find” works for me … and I want to find love. 

Step Principle 10 – Perseverance
Perseverance is the good side of stubbornness.  I used to hear I was stubborn.  But I now concentrate on what my HP wants, and then I practice perseverance to keep at it.  It makes me continue to say no to foods that look really good but have no benefit for me.  It makes me continue to learn more about this program even though I’ve already been “through the steps” and sponsored people.  It is why I have even more freedom today than I had in Jan. 2016 when I finally got abstinent and started really working on a program.  My goal is to continue to practice this, unless indication from my HP is that I’m being stubborn and holding onto an old thought or idea.  I need to keep spiritual to hear the right thing.  Doesn’t hurt to talk to others, but my own spirituality will really help me persevere for what is right.

Step Principle 11 – Spiritual Awareness
I have worked on this the most.  Once food is not an issue, Spiritual Awareness is key.  I need to continue to improve my spiritual connection in this world to grow even more.  If I do not, after a while, the food will eventually start to call.  As I’ve heard so many times from “old timers” when someone relapses, usually the food is the last thing to go.  The first thing is Spiritual Awareness.  I wake up almost every morning and read the “Upon Awakening” passage.  I say a few prayers.  I plan my day.  Once up, I meditate and do some yoga for about 5 minutes.  Then I start my day.  I try to remember to pause and be spiritual throughout the day … still working on this!  At the end of the day, I usually do an evening Inventory.  My goal is to get better and better at this until it is second nature, like brushing my teeth.

Step Principle 12 – Service
I like the idea of beginning service right off the bat in OA.  When I first came in and tried to get abstinent, it was through keeping busy with service that I could stay on my food and action plan.  The simple act of putting out chairs and setting up the meeting and then putting things away is such a nice way to start out.  Then, I got involved as a representative at our Intergroup.  For me, the service of sponsoring is my lifeline in the program.  I need to put my name out there to sponsor virtually since no one has asked me to sponsor them in person in a long time (pandemic related).  This is my Insurance Plan.  The more I try to help others, the more they help me.

—Laura W.

 

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Miracles Melbourne

Who would have thought that being shut in the house due to a pandemic would allow me to get out of myself, around the world, and into a new way of working OA? My program had gotten “stale”. Maybe a different meeting would help?

I went to the OA.org website and looked for an English-speaking Zoom meeting at a time when I could attend, and I found a daily virtual meeting out of Melbourne Australia with 40-60 people attending from around the world*. The founders, who started meeting when Covid hit the world, are dedicated to recovery by giving almost daily service, and lovingly share that service with others. It takes over 20 people each week to keep it running. The format is very structured and follows the Twelve Step & Twelve traditions. BUT what really makes this meeting special is the “after meeting” when cross-talk is allowed and service people help newcomers and returning members. Lots and lots of recovery and sharing.

This meeting, which I call Miracles in Melbourne, has become a game changer for this COE with over 15-years in OA.

Thanks to all the people who give service from members who Zoom-up and show-up, to keeping OA.org. web site going. They make recovery possible for me and everyone in the fellowship.

— Anon Amos

*[Times are 6.30am – 7.15am Mon – Fri; 7.30am – 8.15am Sat Sun. IN MELBOURNE AUSTRALIA. Check on OA.org for the times in your time zone. Zoom MEETING ID 200 540 624;]

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The Importance of Connection in OA

How important is that connection with another fellow? I didn’t realize how important it was to interact with those we would normally see at face to face meetings. It’s been a wonderful adventure going to so many different Zoom meetings, workshops, and convention all over the world. I always come back to my roots (home group). How fortunate that we have so many choices. A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of aiding a group switch to Zoom that had not been meeting due to the pandemic. Many were attending other Zoom meetings in the interim. I joined the meeting to make sure we had all the numbers and such correct. It was very moving to see a fellow member gratefully state their relief in seeing their fellow regular members. I had taken this for granted because from the onset I have been interacting with fellows from my regular meetings via Zoom. Together we can.

— Your trusted servant, Deanna B.

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Overeater’s Anonymous is Alive and Well!

There were 88 people who participated with me in the 2020 annual Milwaukee area OA Labor Day event. Thirty people usually is a great turnout! It was done for the first time virtually, with the choice of attending either through a phone call or seeing and being seen by others in attendance, via Zoom, due to the Covid 19 pandemic. This is also now happening for MAI Intergroup, World Service, and Region 5 Assemblies and Conventions, as well as regularly scheduled face to face meetings. I personally would not have attended the WSI recent, awesome marathon with speakers from around the world, if it had not been virtual. I turned 70 years old October 14, 2020; online meetings and calls are a relatively new concept for me that I had not tried previously. The intention was there, but it did not happen. Would I favor face to face events today? Virtual events save on time, expense and can be a lot more convenient. Face to face meetings, hopefully will resume and we likely will be utilizing both choices. I am grateful one day at a time that Overeater’s Anonymous is alive and well!
– Darlene D.

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Self-Amends Prayer

As a part of making amends to myself, which was suggested by my sponsor, I created the following prayer. The prayer lists positive characteristics that oppose my character defects, which I discovered when working my Fourth and Fifth Steps. By saying this prayer daily and out loud to my HP, I am acting as if I believe these good characteristics are true about myself and trusting my HP to lead me to this recovered reality.

Dear HP,
I am healing with your love and power, and because of you I believe:
I am selfless.
I am proud of myself.
I am honest.
I appreciate what others have.
I am secure.
I am mature and responsible.
I am nonjudgmental.
I am trusting of others and of myself.
I am giving and charitable.
I am energetic and motivated.
I am loving, caring, and friendly.
I am fearless.
I value my life and living out your will for my lifespan.
I live in reality, without magical thinking.
I honor schedules and timeliness.
I consider other people’s needs equal to my own.
I do not compare myself to others.
I focus on my side of the road.
I desire people and things, according to your will for my life.
I love myself as I am.
— Keri E.

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Region 5 Online Meetings

From the 2020 Spring Issue of Freedom From Bondage Print/PDF Newsletter

Region 5 has budgeted to provide video conference service to facilitate online committee and intergroup meetings between assemblies.  This service provides the ability:

  • for committees to meet virtually via video conferencing on computers, tablets, and mobile devices
  • to share a white board, apps, and screen for collaboration effort
  • for virtual voting / polling

Region 5 Committees and Intergroups can request an online meeting by sending an email to R5Host@Outlook.com. When you send the request please provide the following information:

  1. Name of Region 5 Committee or Intergroup.
  2. Purpose of the meeting.
  • For example: Committee Meeting, Intergroup Meeting, Intergroup Board meeting
  • Outside of the above list of purposes will require approval by the Region 5 Board.
  • Recovery groups may want to utilize the video conference service during this time when Face-to-Face meetings are not possible.  The Region 5 account would be easily overwhelmed by such requests, so for this reason Region 5 is encouraging Recovery groups to purchase their own accounts.  If you need help doing this please contact the Region 5 Secretary for assistance.
  1. Date and Time of the meeting. 
  • If the meeting is recurring, please provide a list of specific date and times to schedule the meeting.  We cannot schedule meeting for a specific weekend of the month as so many Intergroup meetings are scheduled.
  • Please indicate the time zone.
  1. Duration of the meeting.  1 to 2 hours is typical.
  2. Please indicate if you need the meeting private and locked down.  To do this the meeting will need be encrypted and locked with a password.  It may also require prior registration.  For the most part this isn’t necessary for our online meetings.  It is much more difficult to set up a private meeting. Also, the chances of someone uninvited joining a regular meeting is minimal.
  3. Name and email of the OA person who will hosting the meeting.  An online meeting host is the person who starts and ends the meeting, has the ability to record the meeting, and can control participant access.  A host is not necessary, however it is best to have someone designated the host, if only to end the meeting properly.  If you do not specify the host then the requester will be designated the host.
  4. 7. Polls need to be created ahead of time.  If you are planning on using the polling feature for voting, please indicate in your request the questions and various answers you need for your polls.  Only the designated host can initiate a polling question.

Online meetings should be scheduled as far in the future as you can reasonably request.  Only one Region 5 Committee or Intergroup can utilize the service at a time.  The Coordinator of Virtual Meetings uses the R5Host account calendar to schedule the meetings an prevent two group from having a meeting at the same time.  When you request a meeting at a specific date and time you may be told that date and time slot is already occupied. We also typically leave a 30-minute window before and after the meeting so that people may join without interrupting an ongoing meeting.  If you request a meeting within the two weeks before the requested date and time, you run the increasing risk the date and time slot is already occupied.  Please be flexible and request an alternate date and time if the initial request is denied.

When the meeting is scheduled the Coordinator of Virtual meetings will send out two emails.  First is a meeting request and invitation.  This email includes instructions on how to connect to the online meeting. It should be forwarded to all participants.  The second email is the host designation.  It is sent only to the designated host.  This email has full instructions on how to claim the host privilege and how to properly host the meeting.  Please do not pass this email anybody but the person hosting the meeting.

You can find additional information on online meetings in the Assembly Information document on pages 13 and 14. 

— Joel I., Region 5 Secretary