Step Principle 1 – Honesty
I believe in Love, Good, Beauty Truth (and all my highest values) as my Higher Power. So, truth involves honesty. This is what I will seek out every day. Honesty in myself and in others and honesty in this world and universe, but with kindness wherever possible. I always try to cause no harm. If my being honest will hurt someone or something, I try to be as gentle as possible and decide if the truth needs to be told. If withholding the truth is no big deal, I keep it to myself. If withholding the truth will cause someone or something else harm, I always go for the truth. That is how I decide if I should keep my mouth shut, or if something needs to be said or done. Of most importance is that I am honest with myself and God (HP) and then with others. I find this to be simple, but not easy.
Step Principle 2 – Hope
Hope – When I came to OA, I had lost all hope that I would ever get to a normal body weight, eat normally, and be happy again. OA gave me hope and serenity right off the bat, when I met other people who had my same issues. I had never before felt that connection from any of the diets I’d gone on, professionals I dealt with, or personal trainers I worked out with. One of the biggest gifts I received was the ability to practice gratitude. When I’m feeling really sorry for myself, I count my blessings, digging really deep, and I soon feel better and find hope. This works so well for me. It gives me hope that good things lie ahead, and it is worth my while to “trudge forward.”
Step Principle 3 – Faith
Faith means believing in something when you don’t have all the facts or proof that it is true. I had no faith when I came to OA that anything or anyone could help me. I was certainly not enamored with my “birth” faith of Catholicism. As I grew in serenity and acceptance of the program (to begin with) I began to have faith in an HP. Today, I continue to develop a relationship with HP, using my basic highest values of Love, Good, Beauty and Truth. I can even return to the Catholic Church with acceptance of a religion that is made up of humans. I identify with the church’s concept of a “Holy Spirit.” I pray and meditate almost every day and every night, if only for a few minutes, to remain in fit, spiritual health.
Step Principle 4 – Courage
Courage involves being totally honest about my failings, and then having hope and faith in a power greater than me to change them. Some days fear can paralyze me in my steps. But I don’t pretend I’m not afraid to do things. I know the difference is courage. Doing it anyway, no matter the outcome, that is true courage for me. When I’m afraid of being wrong, making a fool of myself, or losing someone else’s confidence in me, I can make the choice to back away, or I can do it anyway with faith, hope, honesty, and courage that HP will determine the outcome. I will either be right and continue in that direction, or wrong and I can learn a lesson for the future.
Step Principle 5 – Integrity
Integrity means living in accordance with my deepest values. The previous 4 principles are good to no one if I don’t practice integrity. I need to be honest with everyone and keep my word. This is a highly valued trait for me. My disease had caused me to lose integrity, especially in regard to what I was actually doing with my food, with my time, with my thoughts and feelings. When I first came to OA, I felt peace. It took a long time for that peace to result in enough honesty with myself and others to work the steps. Now, I need to practice it daily, in everything I do; then I find I can breathe a sigh of relief and feel even more peace. I practice the quality of integrity in my “Upon Awakening” meditation, my food journal, and my nightly inventory, as well as my daily 10th steps.
Step Principle 6 – Willingness
In the beginning, willingness is all I have. For any new leap of faith, I need to be willing to jump. I’ve heard many times that this is not a program for people who want it or need it. It’s a program for people who do it. I can study and cry and ask why, all day long. But until I work the steps and practice the principles, I won’t achieve a thing. And, without willingness, I just won’t even start. Now that I have proved to myself that this program works, it is easier to practice willingness. Still, as I wish to achieve more and more freedom, I must have even more willingness to push myself even further and do even more work to continue my progress.
Step Principle 7 – Humility
I love this character trait. When I was in high school French class, we had a teacher that constantly reminded us to practice Humilite’. I love the sound of it and the meaning. Through OA I’ve learned that humility goes both ways – too much ego and too little ego. I’m just another joe-on-the-bus is the attitude I like to practice.
Step Principle 8 – Self-Discipline
Self-Discipline is my ability to pursue what I think is right in spite of my feelings and weaknesses. I continue in the same vain despite temptations to abandon all and go back to what I know, what is comfortable.
Step Principle 9 – Love
So, love is a highest value and the greatest representation of HP for me. Above all else, is love. When I seek love, I am seeking HP. I ask myself, whenever I’m unsure of an action I’m going to take, “will this show love?” Or “will this make so and so feel loved?” Or “does this come from a place of love?” I know many people cannot live with such an abstract concept of HP, but for me, this helps explain why there is also hate and other evils in our world. “Seek and ye shall find” works for me … and I want to find love.
Step Principle 10 – Perseverance
Perseverance is the good side of stubbornness. I used to hear I was stubborn. But I now concentrate on what my HP wants, and then I practice perseverance to keep at it. It makes me continue to say no to foods that look really good but have no benefit for me. It makes me continue to learn more about this program even though I’ve already been “through the steps” and sponsored people. It is why I have even more freedom today than I had in Jan. 2016 when I finally got abstinent and started really working on a program. My goal is to continue to practice this, unless indication from my HP is that I’m being stubborn and holding onto an old thought or idea. I need to keep spiritual to hear the right thing. Doesn’t hurt to talk to others, but my own spirituality will really help me persevere for what is right.
Step Principle 11 – Spiritual Awareness
I have worked on this the most. Once food is not an issue, Spiritual Awareness is key. I need to continue to improve my spiritual connection in this world to grow even more. If I do not, after a while, the food will eventually start to call. As I’ve heard so many times from “old timers” when someone relapses, usually the food is the last thing to go. The first thing is Spiritual Awareness. I wake up almost every morning and read the “Upon Awakening” passage. I say a few prayers. I plan my day. Once up, I meditate and do some yoga for about 5 minutes. Then I start my day. I try to remember to pause and be spiritual throughout the day … still working on this! At the end of the day, I usually do an evening Inventory. My goal is to get better and better at this until it is second nature, like brushing my teeth.
Step Principle 12 – Service
I like the idea of beginning service right off the bat in OA. When I first came in and tried to get abstinent, it was through keeping busy with service that I could stay on my food and action plan. The simple act of putting out chairs and setting up the meeting and then putting things away is such a nice way to start out. Then, I got involved as a representative at our Intergroup. For me, the service of sponsoring is my lifeline in the program. I need to put my name out there to sponsor virtually since no one has asked me to sponsor them in person in a long time (pandemic related). This is my Insurance Plan. The more I try to help others, the more they help me.
—Laura W.